Should You Go to Individual Therapy Before Couples Therapy?

When relationships hit a rough patch, it’s natural to wonder where to start—with yourself or your partner. The question, should you go to individual therapy before couples therapy first often comes up.

Many individuals and couples are unsure whether individual therapy might be the necessary first step before addressing issues as a pair. ‘Could I be the problem? And how will issues in the relationship be resolved if I go to couple’s therapy only?’

Let’s explore these questions in detail, providing the insights you need to make the best choice for your unique situation.

Should You Go to Individual Therapy Before Couples Therapy?

The answer largely depends on your relationship dynamics and the challenges you’re facing. Individual therapy can be beneficial if you want to understand your personal triggers, patterns, or unresolved issues that may influence your relationship.

For example, if past trauma, low self-esteem, or anxiety affect how you interact with your partner, individual therapy can provide clarity and healing before addressing joint concerns.

However, couples therapy can also be a direct route to addressing relational challenges. A skilled therapist can help you both work on communication, trust, and connection simultaneously. Some situations may benefit from starting with individual therapy, while others thrive in a joint approach.

Each case is unique, and the choice depends on what will serve the relationship’s goals and your personal growth best.

The good news? You don’t have to choose alone—consulting a therapist can help determine the best starting point. Reach out to us through our Contact Page

Should I Do Individual or Couples Counseling First?

If you’re grappling with whether to start with individual or couples therapy, consider these key points:

  • Individual Therapy First: If you’re dealing with personal challenges that significantly impact your ability to engage healthily in the relationship, such as unresolved trauma or mental health issues, starting with individual therapy can set a strong foundation for couples therapy later.
  • Couples Therapy First: When the primary concern involves how you and your partner interact or communicate, couples therapy may be the better option to tackle issues head-on.

Sometimes, therapists may recommend a combination of both, where individual therapy complements couples sessions.

Should a Couple See the Same Therapist Individually?

This is a nuanced topic. Seeing the same therapist individually and as a couple can work, provided boundaries are clearly defined. The therapist’s role is to maintain neutrality and focus on the goals of each session type.

However, some people feel more comfortable with separate therapists for individual and couples work to ensure confidentiality and avoid potential biases.

Can You Have Couples and Individual Therapy at the Same Time?

Yes, it’s possible and often beneficial. For instance, while couples therapy helps improve communication and resolve relational issues, individual therapy can support you in working on personal growth, self-awareness, and emotional regulation.

When both approaches are aligned, they can reinforce each other and lead to transformative outcomes for both partners.

What Is the Difference Between Individual and Couples Counseling?

The key difference lies in the focus:

  • Individual Counseling: Centers on your personal mental health, emotions, and behavior. It’s a space for self-exploration, healing, and growth.
  • Couples Counseling: Focuses on the relationship as a whole, addressing communication patterns, conflicts, and relational dynamics.

Both types of therapy aim to foster understanding and growth but cater to different needs.

In conclusion

So, should you go to individual therapy before couples therapy? It depends on your goals and circumstances. Whether you choose to start individually, as a couple, or both, the important thing is to take that first step toward growth and healing.

Remember, therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution—it’s about finding what works best for you and your relationship. Let us help you navigate this journey through personalized sessions tailored to your needs.

Additional Resources

You can also explore materials like Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson or, which delve into relationship dynamics.

Related articles

When Is Couples Therapy Too Late?

How to Fix a Relationship Without Therapy

Is family therapy worth it?

Muthoni Mbai
Muthoni Mbai

Muthoni Mbai is a licensed psychologist with over six years of experience. She specializes in individual, trauma, child and adolescent, couples, and family therapy. Trained in Trauma-Focused CBT and DBT, Muthoni offers compassionate, evidence-based care to help clients heal and thrive.

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